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Should You Leave?By Peter D. Kramer
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In his phenomenal bestseller Listening to Prozac, Peter Kramer explored the makeup of the modern self. Now, in his superbly written new book, he focuses his intelligent, compassionate eye on the complexities of partnerships and why intimacy is so difficult for us. With the art of a novelist and the skill of a brilliant psychiatrist, Kramer addresses advice seekers struggling with such complex questions as: How do we choose our partners? How well do we know them? How do mood states affect our assessment of them and theirs of us? What does “working on a relationship” truly entail? When should we try to improve a relationship, and when should we leave? Equally at home with Shakespeare, Emerson, and Kierkegaard as it is with Freud and Jung, Should You Leave? is a literary tour de force from a uniquely insightful observer and a profoundly resonant and helpful approach to resolving dilemmas of the heart.
- Sales Rank: #79382 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-07-23
- Released on: 2013-07-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
Amazon.com Review
Uniquely conceived and utterly refreshing, Peter Kramer (Listening to Prozac) breaks the mold of most advice books with Should You Leave? Expect no authoritative voice retreating behind labels or manufactured jargon. Instead, in a series of fictive sessions with imaginary advisees, Kramer illlustrates complex problems; each one lets him give a different style of advice--from Freud's to Ann Lander's. The central question pushes the limits of traditional "silent therapy": can a direct, simple response to any problem of the heart be valuable?
Should You Leave? moves fluidly between discussions of psychological theory and imaginative flights, revealing both a wide body of knowledge and compassion. Kramer's questions, framed with sensitivity and irreverence, challenge our cultural fixation on autonomy and assertiveness. Given these, how can intimacy thrive?
From Library Journal
You've had enough?or so you think. But should you really leave? Kramer, author of the best-selling Listening to Prozac (LJ 5/1/93), examines how people seek an answer to this crucial question of the heart. Along the way he offers great insights into the human condition and helps the reader to understand why we each do what we do about interpersonal relationships on the brink of a breakup. The book is concerned with more than just answering the title's basic question. It also delves into the intricate and complicated issue of psychotherapy and advice itself. Kramer contemplates the role of the therapist as well as the unspoken law against offering advice to his clients. Written with a keen ear for narrative, this nonfiction title reads more like well-written fiction: smooth as silk. Highly recommended for both public library self-help and academic psychology collections.?Marty Dean Evensvold, Magnolia P.L., Tx.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
Some surprise best-sellers are more surprising than others. Such was psychotherapist Kramer's last book, Listening to Prozac (1993). Although nontechnical, it wasn't exactly easy reading, and neither is its successor, which Kramer says was all generated from its very first sentence, "All you want is a simple piece of advice." That want is, for Kramer, essential to the psychiatric encounter, and its motive is contained in the second sentence, "There is a decision you must make--stay or leave." Thereafter, Kramer presents a series of couples, at least one of whose members is contemplating that decision. He uses his hypothetical treatments of the contemplators to explore how and on what bases therapists respond to requests for advice. The issues involved in such requests are of personal autonomy and interpersonal intimacy, and Kramer shows how some of the most influential therapeutic practitioners have addressed them and how their insights and techniques are employed by an everyday shrink, himself. Full of plenty of other insights garnered from literature and the social sciences, including even the work of primate ethologist Frans de Waal, Kramer's book about how psychotherapy works has much substance. It is easy to learn a lot from it, despite Kramer's discursive (really, rather gassy) style. Ray Olson
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